MOMO Art Gallery: now

now

(3/2) now SOLD 79x27.5 acrylic on door

Working on recycled doors, thinking about the space between mom and me, listening to Rural Alberta Advantage sing about their grandfather in the ground and it dawns on me, I was watching the Grammy Awards for a reason…what???.

Okay, lets’ go back. I hate and by hate, I mean I have never gotten into but do appreciate country music (note: I grew up listening to the worst country music ever: Oak Ridge Boys and Curstal Gayle and yes, I do mean Curstal, not Crystal, as that is what my father called her.) But the other night on the Grammy’s a country song was on about going back to a house just to be there for a minute and revisit the memories with a promise to leave. I seriously had to fight back tears as I realized I could never go back to the window in my family dining room to check to see if my date was there. I could never again sit in the family room with my brother laughing about SNL or yell at my sister in the bathroom. What happens, how do these moments slip away? Kate Bush: “Give me these moments back” (She’s Having a Baby is my favorite movie/song of all time) It is all coming together. The art, the tears, the life I have lived to this moment and the constant fear that my children will grow up and leave me and my pretending that I am sooooooo good with that.

This surfacing series is such a huge life commentary on then and future and the present. I so NEVER live in the present always the past, with sadness that I cannot go back OR all the things I have to get done in the future to make my life better then….frick when is then we are never there. The surfacing, when is it? Am I only in the present when I am painting. I need to meditate. I always say I am going to when Oprah talks about it and yet when I think about it it makes me giggle with the ridiculousness of it. Just sitting quiet, thinking…hilarious aren’t there things to accomplish????
When is the now?
Is that why I must paint? Because that is the only time I am in it? Or, am I missing it entirely…I am missing it, when the hell do I surface or is that a joke? It is not funny, I am not laughing.

twilight

8.10.08: reading a fun new novel for the beach trip. I heard about it on CBS sunday morning, my favorite show, which makes me an old lady according to my friend Kelly. I have to sell the book a little because it is sold in the young adult section. And YES, I am pretty sure it was right next to Sweet Valley High books. With that said, it was written by a fellow Mom who had a crazy dream one night about a vampire and she woke the next morning with a new life dream and started to bring her vision to life. It is a best seller now being made into a movie, releasing this December. She is also releasing her fourth book in the series. It is a light read with teenage moments in it, but perfect for a foggy week at the beach. More importantly it is a lesson to us all to put ourselves out there. She was not a writer (I am not either as my spelling/grammar errors give away) She had a good idea and she went for it, kudos to you and to anyone else giving it a shot!!!!: TWILIGHT

Discard

2-19-08. Our across the street neighbor passed away in the fall. It was a dramatic scene for my children to take in. There were several police cars, ambulance, family and finally a detective. Over the holiday and during these winter months, we a taken note of many changes to the property. There have been lawn people, family coming and going, a realtor. But today is the first day that has been kinda sad. They are finally going through the things in the house. This man's stuff. Possessions of a life...discard.

Creating my art

I collage watercolor bits to construct my newly 3D works of art in relief. I begin by painting large watercolor pieces. I cut them into tiny strips, bend them into circles or pinch them into fun shapes and throw them in my giant box of scraps. I use these scraps to create the works of art you see posted. I am inspired by reconstruction of pattern to experience them in a new way. I collage them like a puzzle. Like a puzzle, sometimes they come together quickly and other times a finished work can take a month or longer. I wait for each piece to find itself and try not to push it along. I am full-time teacher of sculpture at the High School level. The students fill me with creativity and finding time for my art is what keeps me centered for them.

In all the years I spent with her, I never saw her enter my family home without her tupperware case filled with fabric scraps and quilt squares. She allowed me to sit with her and help pick each fabric swatch and watch as she sewed it in, all the time fascinated. I am to this day inspired by fabric, fashion, design of all types and my grandmother's quilt (pictured above). She has passed on now, I wish that I had the opportunity to tell her how much she shaped my life with her hands and hard work.

resolution

10/05/07: finished this piece of work today with a new frame of mind. I was upset with my husband because he was leaving on YET another guy weekend away. As I stewed, his voice rang in my head: "go ahead plan something and get out of town." In that moment I became acutely aware that I was really mad at myself!!! I can and should plan a weekend and get out of town for a break. I should relax. I get in the MOM space where I begin to believe that I will never be anything other that and I allow for no me time. To all the mothers: GET OUT OF TOWN, RELAX or take a moment every day and remember who and what you were before this: RESOLUTION!

like

8.15.08: My friend Sarah and her children are here with us at the beach. She took the three older children over to the park while the younger ones got a much needed nap. I got a chance to take a shower!!!! and work on my art for a couple of hours in the daylight. When her daughter Gianna woke up she joined me in my love of art and began to make her own collage...she is two. I asked her about the piece I had just completed, she said: "I like the blue, I like the green, I like the yellow, I like the..." My new favorite critic, she liked it all: Like.

independence

9.3.08: NO, you do not need to adjust your screen. I am trying something new and I think I like it!!! It limits me and pushes me forward at the same time. Okay, good story: I dropped off my first grader today for her first day of long school, 9-3 school. Then I dropped off my 3 year old to his first day of preschool. My first thought in my quiet car...what music can a listen to that is usually off limits, EASY, Ani. Ani DiFranco, oh how I miss our travels together. The song that popped up first, of all of my many Ani albums and songs: independence day. PERFECT: independence.

anxious

7.7.08: My mother titled this piece for me because I am driving her crazy!!!! Rewind: we, my kids and I, had a lovely trip home to NC. We spent a week on the beach with family digging for sand crabs, playing in the ocean, eating great food and doing NOTHING!!!! best vacation every year! Just before our departure I had a peak of interest in my art and I am waiting to hear back about how peaked?? I had a slight artist block upon my return home wondering about the situation. My mother told me I was being too anxious and I should finish the piece and title it as such. So here's to you mama, thanks for the great time in MB, all my love: ANXIOUS.

deduction

8.10.08: OLYMPICS!!! I am watching the gymnastic coverage of the 2008 summer olympics and waiting for my BFF's to come in the door to stay with the kids and me in Santa Cruz. I am delighted they are coming but they are late and not just a little, they are like outside the white line, not sticking the landing after a perfect vault late. I have been waiting since 6pm and it is closing in on 10pm. If I were the French Judge in this competition I would give them a major: deduction!

Happy Birthday Marissa!!!! I hope you enjoy your new piece of art!

peeper

9/1/07: finished this piece today on the eve eve of labor day and beginning of the school season. I am anxious about Moseley heading off to kindergarten on Tuesday for a number of reasons. But as I finished this piece I was consumed by the eye of the owl peeping at me. I was reminded of my sister who lives in the mountains of North Carolina (Ashville). It is this time of year that the people come, droves of people, to clog the roadways and look at the leaves. She calls them the leaf: peepers.